Thursday, November 3, 2011

Doctor Who: The Ballad of Russell and Julie

"Let's Do It!"
John Barrowman, Catherine Tate and David Tennant teams up for something that might be more extraordinary than the Doctor Donna

It's been 33 days since Series 6's finale. Again Who's counting? (see what I did there?) Luckily we don't have too much of a wait between Series 6 and 7. There will be a Doctor Who Christmas Special on... guess which day it will air... Christmas Day! In the mean time, I do what I always do and get my Doctor Who fix on youtube. But for Doctor Who: The Ballad of Russell and Julie, I found this gem on a site I visit everyday:
Topless Robot

This tribute to Russell T. Davies and Julie Gardner was done for David Tennant's wrap party as the 10th Doctor. It celebrates the fantastic regeneration of the classic show. The music is from Victoria Wood's "Let's Do It" and the lyrics were rewritten for Russell and Julie. Check it out:

Thank you GuarroRock for sharing!


Here's the original version of "Let's Do It":

Thanks KevMull for this one.

The lyrics for both songs are after the "JUMP!"

The Ballad of Russell and Julie

Julie and Russell sat one night.
Russell sparked up a Marlboro Light.
Julie’s eyes were all ablaze,
As Russell tried to shun her gaze.
He knew the look, he knew the score;
It seemed more manic than before.
Russell cringed in fear and dread
As Julie pulled him near and said:

Let’s do it!
Let’s do it!
I’ve had a really good idea.
We’ll re-vamp, make more camp
A sci-fi show from yester-year.
I’ve had banter with Tranter.
Your written word will be hailed in the ming mong mantra.
Let’s do it!
Let’s do it tonight!

But he said…

I can’t do it!
I can’t do it!
You’re asking far too much of me.
I’m harasssed, embarassed;
I’ve watched the show since I was three.
Don’t choose me, don’t use me,
My mother sent a note to say you must excuse me.
I can’t do it!
I can’t do it tonight!

So she said…

Let’s do it!
Let’s do it!
Make a brand new Doctor Who.
We’ve got Chris in, all’s missing
Is a sidekick and an all-Welsh crew.
It’s not silly to ask Billie.
We’ll film in every quarry from here to Caerphilly.
Let’s do it!
Let’s do it tonight!

Ooh, then he said…

I can’t do it!
I can’t do it!
The pressure of the BBC.
I must e-mail some young male
To alleviate the stress on me.
I can’t block out, please lock out,
Images of Johnny B getting his cock out.
I can’t do it!
I can’t do it tonight!

She replied…

Let’s do it!
Let’s do it!
Phil okayed my offer to produce.
We’ll get Trac to take flack
When he lets his raging temper loose.
My decision to use your vision
Will make the show the best thing on the television.
Let’s do it!
Let’s do it tonight!

And he squawked…

I can’t do it!
I can’t do it!
Chris is giving up his role.
No Time Lord? Oh good Lord,
How we’re gonna fill this role?
It’s too complex, we’re all wrecks.
My brain is overflowing with a bloody Dalek.
I can’t do it!
I can’t do it tonight!

She excitedly said…

Let’s do it!
Let’s do it!
We’ll get another Time Lord in.
Don’t sweat it, you can’t let it
Make you sad and maudlin.
It’s not over, and moreover,
We’ll get the lovely fellow in from Casanova.
Let’s do it!
Let’s do it tonight!

And he yelled…

I can’t do it!
I can’t do it!
I really think that I can’t cope.
More re-writes, no respite-
I think I’ve given up all hope.
It’ll get canned, it’ll be panned.
Lou says there’s no costumes in the whole of England.
I can’t do it!
I can’t do it tonight!

Then she proclaimed…

Let’s do it!
Let’s do it!
Martha Jones is Freema Agyeman.
We’ll bring back Captain Jack
To fight against the Cybermen.
We’ll cast a great Master,
He can plunge the planet into global disaster.
Let’s do it!
Let’s do it tonight!

And he screamed…

I can’t do it!
I can’t do it!
You’ve cast Australia’s pop princess.
It’s madness, my sadness
Will make this episode a mess.
My panic is manic-
The uproar when I kill her off on the Titanic!
I can’t do it!
I can’t do it tonight!

And she expelled…

Let’s do it!
Let’s do it!
The Doctor needs a brand new mate.
Don’t linger, go ginger.
I’m gonna bring back Catherine Tate.
I wanna, you’re gonna,
Reunite the Doctor with the fabulous Donna.
Let’s do it!
Let’s do it tonight!

He punctuated…

I can’t do it!
I can’t do it!
I’ve got obsessed with E4’s Skins.
Writer’s block. Please don’t mock,
It takes my mind off other things.
It’s so lame,
I must blame dirty thoughts I’m having about Midshipman Frame.
I can’t do it!
I can’t do it tonight!

Excitedly she said…

Let’s do it!
Let’s do it!
To film abroad will get my vote.
I promise Ed Thomas can’t bring Ancient Rome to Upper Boat.
It’s D-Day on Pompeii;
The forums will be buzzing on Outpost Gallifrey.
Let’s do it!
Let’s do it tonight!

And he roared…

I can’t do it!
I can’t do it!
The studio in Rome’s ablaze.
On fire, it’s dire-
How the hell are you not phased?
It’s mental. Be gentle.
They say the cause of fire was a Berkley Menthol.
I can’t do it!
I can’t do it tonight!

So she roared…

Let’s do it!
Let’s do it!
We’ve got kids back behind settees.
Our mission, ambition,
Was a show for all the families.
we should try as our goodbye
A hassle-free excursion to sunny Dubai.
Let’s do it!
Let’s do it tonight!

But he shouted…

Oh, let’s do it!
Let’s do it!
I feel like I’ve been set free.
I won’t sweat it, now Moffat
Is taking up the reins from me.
I can’t wait, it’s just great-
I’ve got a cracking way for Dave to regenerate.
Let’s do it!
let’s do it tonight!

Guess what?

They did it!
They did it!
They opened up the TARDIS door.
They’re terrific, prolific.
Made it better than it was before!
A ‘thank you’ from your crew.
We crown you both the King and Queen of Doctor Who.
You did it!
You did it tonight!
Let's Do It

Freda and Barry sat one night.
The sky was clear. The stars were bright.
The wind was soft. The moon was up.
Freda drained her cocoa cup

She licked her lips. She felt sublime.
She switched off Gardeners' Question Time.
Barry cringed in fear and dread
As Freda grabbed his tie, and said:

Let's do it!
Let's do it!
Do it while the mood is right!
I'm feeling
Appealing.
I've really got an appetite.

I'm on fire
With desire.
I could handle half the tenors in a male voice choir.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

But he said:

I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I don't believe in too much sex.
This fashion
For passion
Turns us into nervous wrecks.

No derision!
My decision—
I'd rather watch The Spinners on the television.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.

So she said:

Let's do it!
Let's do it!
Do it till our hearts go boom!
Go native,
Creative
Living in the living room.

This folly
Is jolly.
Bend me over backwards on me Hostess trolley.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

But he said:

I can't do it.
I can't do it.
Me 'eavy breathing days have gone.
I'm older,
Feel colder.
It's other things that turn me on.

I'm imploring:
I'm boring.
Let me read this catalogue on vinyl flooring.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.

So she said:

Let's do it!
Let's do it!
Have a crazy night of love!
I'll strip bare.
I'll just wear
Stilettos and an oven glove.

Don't starve a
Girl of a palaver.
Dangle from the wardrobe in your Balaclava.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

But he said:

I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I know I'd only get it wrong.

Don't angle
For me to dangle.
Me arms 'ave never been that strong.

Stop pouting.
Stop shouting.
You know I pulled a muscle when I did that grouting.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.

Let's do it!
Let's do it!
Share a night of wild romance,
Frenetic,
Poetic!
This could be your last big chance

To quote Milton,
To eat Stilton,
To roll in gay abandon on the tufted Wilton.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I've got other little jobs on hand.
Don't grouse
Around the house.
I've got a busy evening planned.

Stop nagging.
I'm flagging.
You know as well as I do that the pipes want lagging.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.

Let's do it!
Let's do it
While I'm really in the mood!
Three cheers!
It's years
Since I caught you even semi-nude.

Be drastic
Gymnastic.
Wear your baggy Y-fronts with the loose elastic.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

I can't do it.
I can't do it.
I must refuse to get undressed.
I feel silly.
It's too chilly
To go without me thermal vest.

Don't choose me.
Don't use me.
Me mother sent a note to say you must excuse me.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.

Let's do it!
Let's do it!
I feel I absolutely must.
I won't exempt you,
Want to tempt you,
Want to drive you mad with lust.

No cautions,
Just contortions!
Smear an avocado on me lower portions.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

I can't do it.
I can't do it.
It's really not my cup of tea.
I'm harassed,
Embarrassed.
I wish you hadn't picked on me.

No dramas!
Give me me pyjamas.
The only girl I'm mad about is Judith Chalmers.
I can't do it.
I can't do it tonight.

Let's do it!
Let's do it!
I really want to run amok.
Let's wiggle.
Let's jiggle.
Let's really make the rafters rock.

Be mighty.
Be flighty.
Come and melt the buttons on me flameproof nightie.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

Let's do it!
Let's do it!
I really want to rant and rave.
Let's go,
'Cause I know
Just how I want you to behave:

Not bleakly,
Not meekly.
Beat me on the bottom with a Woman's Weekly.
Let's do it!
Let's do it tonight!

10 comments:

  1. :D BEST. SONG. EVER!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is just the most amazing thing I've ever seen.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!! This Doctor Who parody is the best thing I have EVER seen!! it is fantastic!! AMAZING!!!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. i like Russell's second verse. did john really do that?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. it's referring to the nude scene for capt jack in the game station I think

      Delete
  5. Oh my gosh I am a huge fan of doctor who . And it dosen't matter hiw the song was cause only david and Catherine's involvement in the song made it special

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh my gosh I am a huge fan of doctor who . And it dosen't matter hiw the song was cause only david and Catherine's involvement in the song made it special

    ReplyDelete
  7. It's so bloody great! I Love it so much! David is my forever love!

    ReplyDelete
  8. It's so bloody great! I Love it so much! David is my forever love!

    ReplyDelete